Turned to random journal entry, here 'tis:

3-6-09
So all thinking persons know that people make mistakes
"to er is human..."
"everyone makes mistakes"
Surely there are others...
"Nobody's perfect"
"Human error"

But there is one group or role rather that people take on in which mistakes are simply not allowed--mistakes when is in this role are--unforgivable--and there are those who make it their life's ambition to wallow in these mistakes.  Of these people, we (guilty) milk these mistakes for every drop of--(drop of what?)
Who are these unforgiven?
Our PARENTS, of course!  Our parents.

And why not, here is another:
3-4-09
If you can't join 'em, join 'em?

So human nature says we berate others to make up for our own shortcomings.  So the thing to do for those who make a continuous effort to be moral, responsible, professional--is not to do this.
Steer clear of gossip circles, whispering about co-workers behind their backs.  Just say NO.  
Even though, 
Everyone does it.  
Factions automatically arise--but who exactly is on whose side?
These sides change depending on the company.  What if one tries and tries to remain free and nutral but just can't seem to do it?  Human nature wins?  It must be the rare person who wins that battle, but there are more than we probably realize who fight it.

religion

No one wants to be alone--that's where God, ghosts and angels come from.
yep

unthinkable

So, my boss:
the one whose approval I desperately need and have sought after as a replacement for my own mothers approval-even though she's only about 10 years older than I am...
The one who I respect, admire and am at the same time ashamed of for her tricky racist tendencies...
She nominates me for an award...
Basically a "You Are Awesome and I Want to Tell Your Peers and Others who are Big Shots How Awesome You Are" award.
And I get the award.  And she is going with me to accept the award.
Really?
Holy Shit.
What do I wear?
No, really?
What's the catch?
What now?
What's my problem now?

Closure

Dog is back.
Can't stop looking at her.

Life is short, appreciate what's around you.

Understand more about what people say when they say they want "closure."
Didn't know what to do with myself, felt like I was at the end of a chapter but couldn't turn the page.

my dog

When people feel emotional pain, the same areas of 

the brain get activated as when people feel physical pain:

the anterior insula and the anterior cingulate cortex.
Emotional and Physical Pain Activate Similar Brain Regions | Psychology Today

So my dog is missing.  I feel like a terrible pet owner.  She's out there somewhere.  I want her back.  

I am really mad at my husband.  
I am totally blaming him right now.  He doesn't like her.  
I almost say "hate" but I can't believe that.  Although its probably true.
I thought about her a lot today as she was outside but didn't even check on her.
I wanted to let her in but every time I thought about it, I thought about his reaction to anything she does.  
She eats toilet paper, tissue, underwear, q-tips.
She licks pillows and blankets that are far too often left or tossed on the floor by the kids.
She eats my and my daughter's used pads.
She hates going outside when it's raining, thundering or when the grass is wet. 
She looks at me when he calls her to go out as if she defers judgement to me.
He is unable to get her to go into the crate.  She goes in for me.

The wisdom of the turtle

I can honestly say that I don't like people in the way I assume other people like people.  

I want people to be well, as in healthy.  
I want people to do the right things by each other.  
I would pretty much help anyone do whatever necessary to do either of these things.

Skulking around on Facebook causes me to cringe and shrink inward.  A tiny part of me wants to tap into this social network more, but mostly I want to retreat from it.

I used to think I'm socially awkward, but I don't know, I think I just don't care to be too intimate with people.  Does this mean I'm not the giver I thought I was?  Oh well, enough of this bull shit.