Adults can learn, too.

This is from a simple assignment where we were asked to compare the parenting style of our parents.  I opted to write about my own parenting style, since I didn't want to pick apart my overly picked apart parents--no really, I actually didn't want to!

The first theory that best describes my parenting style would be the psychoanalytical style with my approach leaning more toward the Erikson perspective rather than Freud.  According to Erickson, a person must maneuver through five defined stages in childhood and then two more in adulthood.  Within each of these stages, we must overcome an inconsistency that is present in each stage such as the “trust vs. mistrust” dispute in infancy (Berk 2012).  Even before my first child was born, I believed and knew that my strongest and most effective parenting tool was unconditional love.  My goals as a parent were based around not making the same mistakes my own parents had made and giving as much as I could to the “nurture” side of the “nature vs. nurture” paradox.
As I grew up with my children, I realized there were other things I could do to support their development.  I knew they had to make their own mistakes and make their own choices.  I also understood that they had to be given the guidance and support to do so, and be provided with a safe place to fall when things get rough.

The second theory that fits my parenting style is Piaget’s theory of Cognitive Development.  The book tells us that Piaget felt that a child will “construct knowledge as they manipulate and explore their world (Berk, 2012). ”  As a parent I feel it is the adult caregiver’s job to provide appropriate environments for the child to explore.  From the time my children could walk, we were exploring the back yard, local parks, and the library.  If and when one of my children appeared to enjoy something, I encouraged this interest by providing materials and experiences to further their exploration.  I’m sure I went overboard at times, enjoying the learning experience along with my child.  When my first child noticed butterflies, we ran to the library and collected as many insect and butterfly books as we could carry.  I approached my second daughter’s interest in dinosaurs in the same way.  One of my twin boys enjoyed music and was always interested in the covers the cds came in.  He eventually learned to read his first words by memorizing the track list of his favorite “Wiggles” album.  Luckily for me, resources to encourage these interests of my children were readily available. 

These two theories share a common belief that children should be allowed to be autonomous.  Erikson even theorized that negative feelings such as “shame” can and will emerge if a child is not allowed “reasonable free choice (Berk, 2012).”

Textbook cited:
Berk, Laura E. (2012). Infants, Children, and Adolescents (7^th ed.) Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon