Continuing Education makes you still obsess about your past (or is it just me).

What this is:
I'm taking a class on childhood.  This is a short discussion assignment.  The assignment really did ask about our own childhood--I didn't just use it as another excuse to whine about my life...

I wrote:

The environments that I grew up in were not consistent, but they still show the correlations mentioned in our text.  In my early years, my environment was quiet but detached (passive environment).  My personality was also quiet.  I was an only child until I was 8 and and was accustomed to quiet time with my single working mother.  

Later my mother married a man with three children.  My step-father was loud, the children were loud and I was still, well, not loud.  I preferred alone time reading or drawing but this behavior was interpreted as aloof, arrogant and even insulting to my step-father (evocative environment).  As the book explains, "responses children evoke from others (then, eventually) strengthen the child's original style (Berk 2012)."  In other words, for me, my quiet nature strengthened into a more withdrawn quiet nature as I grew up.

As I grew into young adulthood, my ability to choose my environment resulted in my withdrawing and eventually movingcompletely away from my family.  I choose friends, hobbies and eventually a husband who were all also fairly quiet, reflective and introspective (active environment).

Textbook cited:Berk, Laura E. (2012). Infants, Children, and Adolescents (7^th ed.) Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon 

My son is depressed

How do we ever manage to survive the preteen year.  And if we survive these, how do we survive the teen years.
Who is to blame?  Teachers?  The school system?  Not really fair is it?  They are just doing a job.

So to my son.  Looking at him tonight before bed--I thought he was just tired.  That's why he was a bit pale and his eyes were starting to water.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing"
"you sure?"
"Yes"
"Ok, what is really wrong?"
"Same stuff I've told you about 100 times."
"Just because you've told me about it doesn't mean it's not importiant."

And that's all I could give except hugs and "it will be ok."

Street Light Zen

In our old house, when I couldn't sleep, I would sit on the couch in the living room and stare out the window.  Out of that window I could see our section of the street lit up by a street light.  The street light was almost directly across the street from our house.  Our street was quiet at night and most nights I would not see a single car.
I would stare at that spot on the corner across the street and just be aware of the emptiness and quiet.  I would imagine that I was sitting or standing on that corner and how no one in the world would know I was there if I did.  I of course would ponder the emptiness and reality that no one knew I was sitting on my couch looking out the window.  It was my secret.  Now that I write this I realize I had done the same kind of exercise in my teen years.  I would sneak  out side for a smoke and watch our street.  The street I grew up on was different in that it was busier; much busier than that street lamp street.  But from where I stood next to the house, I was in complete shadowed darkness and no one would have seen me as they passed, save for the glowing end of my cigarette if they happened to look in just the right spot, 20 or so yards from the street.
Of course, in niether situation did I think much about what I was doing as practicing Zen, but I think I was.  I was aware of my surroundings and pondering the nothingness of everything.

Why does my husband state the obvious?

Is he being passive aggressive?  Is this what ridiculously polite people do?  Is he half British?

One Hundred Annoying Habits of Successful Entrepreneurs |
According to this page, stating the obvious was number 28.

And fun note; as I was skimming down the list, I started to worry because I started to--check, check, check--note that I did a lot of these annoying things, about 10 in a row, to be exact.  But then, thankfully, as I continued down the list, they stopped applying to me.  Woot!  I'm only about 20% annoying according to newwhiteboard.com.  My husband, come to think of it, only qualified for that one thing...maybe I should review that list.

so what did I actually do?

Something I regret but am not going to dwell on.  Yes that's it.  I'm not going to dwell on it.

surfing about screwing up

Sharing Too Much Information in the Workplace - NYTimes.com

Well, yes.  I do this.

"As mentioned earlier, revealing too much about yourself may give people the wrong impression or rather the impression you don't want them to have. In general, you do want to preserve some level of privacy."
Sharing Personal Information at Work - Keep It To Yourself
Really?  Well I kinda know this is true, but hell, I do it anyway.  A lot.  But so does everyone.

How to Tell if You Talk Too Much

Determining whether you talk excessivelyTalking less, listening more

Edited by Flickety, Awesomealias, KnowItSome, Rojo Don Poho and 37 others

How to Tell if You Talk Too Much: 15 Steps (with Pictures)

Really?  This is just nit-picking.

Said Something You Shouldn’t Have? 4 Ways to Recover

Said Something You Shouldn't Have? 4 Ways to Recover | The Daily Muse

This is more like it.

Turned to random journal entry, here 'tis:

3-6-09
So all thinking persons know that people make mistakes
"to er is human..."
"everyone makes mistakes"
Surely there are others...
"Nobody's perfect"
"Human error"

But there is one group or role rather that people take on in which mistakes are simply not allowed--mistakes when is in this role are--unforgivable--and there are those who make it their life's ambition to wallow in these mistakes.  Of these people, we (guilty) milk these mistakes for every drop of--(drop of what?)
Who are these unforgiven?
Our PARENTS, of course!  Our parents.

And why not, here is another:
3-4-09
If you can't join 'em, join 'em?

So human nature says we berate others to make up for our own shortcomings.  So the thing to do for those who make a continuous effort to be moral, responsible, professional--is not to do this.
Steer clear of gossip circles, whispering about co-workers behind their backs.  Just say NO.  
Even though, 
Everyone does it.  
Factions automatically arise--but who exactly is on whose side?
These sides change depending on the company.  What if one tries and tries to remain free and nutral but just can't seem to do it?  Human nature wins?  It must be the rare person who wins that battle, but there are more than we probably realize who fight it.