Ok, I am going to try to get through this.
Try to get through this.
Last night I woke up with a feeling of utter humiliation.  Am I a joke to all that I work with??  Am I?
Last night I was pretty sure I was.
Why should the glare of a 20-something-year old loser bitch bother me.  Why???
Why?  Because I am me.  Other people define me.
What is going on now?
What is different?
Why am I on an upward psycho swing now?
Ok, it's not the middle of the night, just late evening.  How do I feel?
The reasoning part of me decided some stuff earlier tonight that was supposed to clear all this up and make me all better.

1. Remember this:  I am good at something.  I know I am.  I love what I am truly good at and it is a useful skill that has a positive impact on those around me that matter most to me.
2. I am going to focus on this talent and make it the central part of my work.  I am going to return to this basic goal.
3. There are things I have done to make my experience at work more difficult than it needed to be but there is also a toxic element at work that I am going to try to escape.  I am going to do my best to separate myself from this toxic element and focus on what I said in 1 and 2.
4. I am going to IGNORE the previous bull shit conversations with my boss that were just her blowing hot air.  I am not going to try to be her unofficial unpaid personal ass-kissing assistant.  

And there you have it.  If I can do these things, I might just survive.  Maybe.